Sunday, 21 October 2012

Love of seasons


It's Fall in Baltimore. Time for the trees to try their new outfits and look colorful. Fall is my favorite season after the monsoons. Monsoons back in India have a special charm to them.

Ancient paintings, writings and cultural practices such as reverence for rain as God, appear to be like a bread crumb trail to the man-monsoon relationship. As a kid, I lived in Mumbai and I remember the wait for the first shower spell. We used to have a countdown that would appear in our newspapers eagerly waiting for their arrival. People would prepare well in advance for the monsoons. The seasonal hawkers would know that it's perhaps time to replace the artifacts with umbrellas and raincoats. The manufacturing companies would know to make them attractive and appealing to the current trend in the city or have the usual age-wise segments. Pink, Green and Yellow with cartoon characters for the kids, retaining the color but filling them with flowers instead for the ladies and the consistent all black/grey ones for the men. Within this, you would always have people, like me back then, who would want something halfway between kids and men. We don't get that luxury of choice and usually end up using mom/dad's.

The city doesn't come to a standstill when it rains, though the infrastructure might suggest so. People have learnt to live and love the city as it is. The monsoons bring with them a drop in the mercury which gives a huge breather for the people from the scorching summer that just bid adieu. Evening sets in early. I love the hot street snack accompanied with a glass of tea, enjoying the rains and watching how people react differently towards things. You see a mom walking her kid back from school and you notice how she leaps over the puddle of water while her kid jumps right into that. The smoke, the rain, the sound all suddenly seems so picturesque and inviting.

Continuing with the 'people react different towards things at different ages' idea, I want to leap ahead to my college life when I moved to Chennai.I started to avoid the puddles, but now because I drove my scooter. My allegiance to the street snack didn't change, in fact it grew. Used to love riding together with my friends sometimes doing weird things on our way, stopping at every other street to grab a hot spicy bite and then looking for the nearest cool drink shop to douse the tongue-on-fire! We used to tuck our shirts out as stepped out of college and love getting drenched. We were more eager to get home, not to avoid the rains, but to dry, get into the pyjamas, have that sip of tea and enjoy your show on TV. What a life, man! Who doesn't love holidays? we all do. And back in Chennai, the government used to declare state wide holiday for schools and colleges if heavy rains are predicted. It was usually a scrolling marquee on the news channel that had all the cities and towns that declared a holiday. I haven't prayed more than this to have my city in that list!

As I recollect all those wonderful memories, I feel I should go back sometime and re do all of that. It's been a little over a year since I came to the US and I am introduced to a new season, Fall! Had never seen trees getting yellow and red except in Windows wallpapers and Indian movie songs that were shot abroad. And trust me when I say this, the view is absolutely stunning. Which is why, its my second most favorite season. My reaction to fall isn't that different. I love walking over the heap of brightly colored leaves on the pavement, I love sipping tea and I still crave for a hot street snack. It's just the beginning of Fall and I have already fallen for it!! So much so, it has decided to make me give a heartbeat to this blog site. I hope to keep it pumping.

-Sayee
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Monday, 15 February 2010

walking alone in the poorly lit lane

That i have restrained myself from new posts for close to a month now,often makes me question myself.I stand witness to the transformations in me,some internal while others are cutaneous.the latter is boring and fails to convince me to discuss or spend more time talking it.The former however needs attention.

I ve always dreamed of being different and doing different things.For close to 20 years now,that i ve spent in this world,i ve constantly made a sketch of what i want to become and what plan i have for life.some,in fact most, were volatile while a few still retain its shape . some of these plans or wishes would be kiddish and be more likely true in a comic book than someone's life.I dont trash those for i believe those were the biggest wish 1 could have when i was 5.As you grow,so do your thoughts and your view of the world.you meet new people, you hear new words and see new places...all these have an impact on your thoughts.one of such thoughts that have cemented within me now is the craving for intelligence.

For the past 20 days or so, one could find me doing things which arent so common in my context[atleast the way i ve been so long].but this change,if at all you think it is...is not an immediate result of a reaction but a watered plant of wishes and interests.the wish to do something different in life.the wish to grow up to become a great human being.a wish to mature academically and emotionally.

I have this feeling of a boy who is just making his way to the stage for the 1st time and he is to stand before a vast crowd mixed with people of different tastes,cultures and habits.I have this feeling of a student anxiously waitin for his exam results sometimes imagining a post-result drama or consequences only to see that most of them jus drain away.i dont want to leave this situation for i feel this has made me think hard about life and what i need to do to have it the way i want it to be.

These thoughts have been running continually in my mind so much so that i dont hear the phone ring or notice the vehicle in front of mine.i recall a couple of incidents where i have had a close call with a vehicle and how i felt happy and drove more carefully then.people driving close to me could recollect how my lips would always be in motion giving the feeling that i was humming a song or using a hands free.but neither of them are true.i speak to myself.about what i have done so far.what i need to do now.

my conversations with people are now limited..the latest one being the small fight i had with my bro for having closed my work which i had left unsaved on my pc. for i find that you waste a lot of energy in useless unproductive conversations.though you cant debate global warming and price rise 24*7,you can definitely limit your time spent in useless talks.even if you are not substituting the saved time with something useful, you can pat yourself for atleast not wasting them.my interest in machine,especally the pc is on a new high.i find this chap whose mother tongue is binary way too comfortable to discuss things."How machines can replace man?" is an endlessly alluring theme and makes the perfect mood for a lazy sunday afternoon.

I'm reading books, the latest one being "other colors" by Orhan Pamuk whom the eastern and western world gracefully own.I'm reading about him and am fascinated by his intelligence.its after reading him, i realised how i ve fooled myself by refraining from writing.writing and reading gives you a pleasure that no other art gives.
the television is filled with crap.people are sometimes boring.i dont know if this is making me aloof,but i m sure i m doing things which i feel is right.even if things dont turn out the right way,i can be proud that i m the sole one to blame, for no one else had influenced my decision.people say that i am unstable while some feel its difficult for them to understand me.a curve on my face is the only emotion in response.dunno where this is leading to.but whatever the path is, i m sure its got loads to offer.you need to keep traveling and be a wanderlust ,for life is too short and the world too large to be understood and enjoyed.

Now that i have written, i genuinely feel content and maybe i could now be more me than before.now,my neighbor wouldn definitely complain that i didnt smile at him while sharing the elevator.
life is amazing.life is beautiful.
so much intelligence around!so inspiring!

hugs

balaji
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Thursday, 26 November 2009

I'm happy with my coffee

Its been more than a month and no new posts!well it does worry me too. i m afraid i m losing this interest to the new addiction to facebook. its more than a social networkin place and i m lovin every fb moment. well..exams could be another good excuse but i wanna be truthful to myself if not to you folks...for i ve always used this space for spillin out all my thoughts. something that could release a lot of pent up emotions. i had to check out my first post to find out when i started blogging.(i m not a diary person u knw).beleive me guys!its been more then 2 yrs and i ve loved every minute here as much as i love fb now!!

What made me blog today was the frivolous attitude of the govt. exactly a year back, the city of mumbai was under attack and justice not yet delivered. quoting a recent tweet, when a new movie opens up in theaters, there is almost 70% turnout...but only 40% for voting...what have we learnt?very true, there is a problem with the system and also with us. we arent concerned about the world around us. life has seem to ve lost value in this busy world of stocks and numbers and politics and entertainment. this means to me a failure of an entire generation. you have understood life the very wrong way.failure to produce good leaders, failure to produce concerned citizens and failure to sustain harmony and peace. species getting extinct. men getting killed. is this the world we live in? i have lost full faith in the judiciary system of my country..a system that hasnt yet tried the 26/11 attacker...not long frm now,our pockets may go a bit more heavy carryin guns for protection. bullets sold at cash and carry. try it and if you are not satisfied, we ll give you a full refund!

Meanwhile..the younger generation is too busy apeing the west. they think its good to be 'kewl' than cool.suddenly the whole world looks foolish.there is profanity in speeches, obscenity in films and lack of intelligence among people. if this what testifies modern development, i wud be more then happy being under developed. i m so very angry that one could spot indotherms out of me.the men are becomin increasingly boring.the women worse.my only respite these days is my cup of coffee and my pc. its much better spending time with this pal who cant understand more than binary than with my look-alike creatures who are way too stupid.

Btw..its nice to be bak blogging..though i ve not got huge followers for my blog or too much comments pouring in for any post, i ve loved the journey till this very moment and i hope to continue this.....but much like the "tree falling in the forest" riddle..i dunno if my blog ever exists.oh cmon!11:44 is not the time for metaphysics.

facebook:what's on your mind?
haha!many things :)

A SALUTE TO THE MARTYRS OF 26/11
hugs
balaji
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Sunday, 27 September 2009

to where i belong?

Roads that prove tough for a sedan, lush greenery all over, deserted streets, the huge and the not-so-huge rivers, friendly ppl, temples frequented by foreigners and a slow life..who says villages suck?

its this 3 day tour i jus finished visiting my native place and so many temples. my recent visit seems to ve jus watered my plant of interest towards our culture. its this "tough to pick up word" kinda feeling u get when u visit ur ancestral places sometimes wondering these really are ur valuable assets. you realize you are here because of them.i dunno whether a joke at this place would be appropriate but then i m a very frank writer and leave reading to ur choice. [[[yeah...the joke..in one of the conversation between a father and son while dicsussing computers...the dad explains"son..the undo button on the toolbar can be used to remove the effect of your last change..in the sense it ll give u back what you had before.."...the son says"hmm...so if there was an undo button in your life...i wouldnt be exactly standing here"]]]. coming back to the ancestry thing..gosh!the ancestry thing??ridiculous:)..its not very often you get to experience such contrasting environments...something city life cant jus cater to. i ve mentioned a lot abt temples in my previous posts and havent received a single comment!!so i ll take it as a excuse to avoid giving my temple experience...write something abt obama..and comments pour in!!crazy world:)well that again is ur choice.talking about choices, i wanna bring about one of the convos i had during the journey especially during times when u are bored watching out the so many mountains on the freeway and one looks no different than the other or the times when your ipod playlist restarts..i had this question for my uncle..given an option to stay either in the village or the city...whr would u live??he was quick enuf to choose the former. the same question was put back to me..this "and u?" act is so common in discussions especially when u don have a question of ur own but are still interested in keepin the convo ticking!!i couldnt reply quick.to be honest..i still havent!!coz i m thinking and too much thinking can strain ur neurons..so i take breaks occasionally by surfing the net..that doenst question my intelligence..jus that it isnt such an easy question after all.you ask me pratibha patil or obama and quick would be my reply.

hmm..yeah the tour again...was really memorable and amazing. whenever i talk about my past or ancestry, i pop up this saying from the back of my cerebrum..how is your ancestry important in ur life?? you life is like a potato plant..the best part of which is underground!!...definitely yes,your past is very important...so is ur present and ofcorse ur future..so wht happened to the question that was put to me?hmm...village life is definitely poetic and looks great.but you knw what??..the first thing i did when i was back home was switch on my pc:)

later that evening, i crossed a high traffic lane, i inhaled more pollution..i found not so friendly people, i heard the big honks and gazed at the huge movie posters..u may have your own views...but city life seems much better..i m looking out of the window now..its raining nice here..shall ask for a hot cup of chai now..hope u enjoyed reading this post as i leave to enjoy my tea.

i belong here,
balaji
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Saturday, 15 August 2009

the 9 km ride---trrrr,fumes and thoughts




it was 6.45 am.my distance-traveled meter read 10073.

i kickstarted my drive(the real meaning of the word) and within seconds,i was on the roads of a country thats celebrating 62 yrs of freedom today.i dunno why,but i ve never felt so happy riding my scooter as much i felt this morning.the climate too did all it could to make things more pleasant.as the wheels rolled front,my thoughts rolled back to the times when our country was ruled by the british.

the injustice and torture done to us were perhaps the worst acts of human nature.we had seen the worst.yet,we won our freedom through non violence.such a great nation this is.i pay my respects to millions of ppl who sacrificed their lives for the country.the britishers showed us the worst of human nature and we replied in the best of india.i salute those souls for they gave their lives to ensure a free india tmrw.

man doesnt know wht happens to him after death.we ve all grown up listening to stories of spirits and i hope if those great souls are here somewhr...all i want to tell them is that we are now a great nation.a nation with a great blend of colors,religion,languages,cultured,cuisines and yet united.a nation that has produced great scientists and engineers and doctors and wht not.a nation with jubliant youngsters who are hungry to achieve things,a nation which has embraced cultures frm across the world and a nation that respects and values its past.we are now a nation with one of the largest cellular subscribers,we are a nation which has a fantastic film industry...we ve achieved many things and are still growing.

as the tricolor was hoisted,i felt goosebumps.the national anthem was sung.i was moved.i climbed on my bike bak and set home.i am so proud to be an indian.i respect my identity.i value my heritage.i cherish my culture.if there is something called rebirth,my only wish is to be born again in this great land!!

it was 9.00.my distance-traveled meter read 10082.

hugs
balaji
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Wednesday, 15 July 2009

my poetic side exposed!!!

dunn wanna fill this post with crap.jus a plain poem.
read thru and lemme know.


It’s a gifted child they said
And looks of more me than you
Oh father!you ve finally answered
We are among a blessed few.

Hes born in the month of December
As the world is filled with joys
He ll make history in this planet,said they
But fate had a different choice

It was white all around for them
But grey it was for him
Oh my god..whts wrong
The priest said you ve sinned.

Twas winter
And spring looked really far behind
He was a cute litlle fella
Jus that he was blind

He couldn’t go to school
As Irwin and as eve
He could all but feel
But not see his parents grieve.

They cursed the lord they praised
why are you so injust?i ve done nothing harm.
Don talk to him like that said the lad
For I can still hear and speak the psalm.

Mamma! A competition I heard is in town
That of a spelling bee
I think I can give it a shot
Thers nothing they want you to see

Ofcorse!you ll win said mom
But his dad thought the claims were tall
I know I cant see the colors
But who said I cant spell them all?

He participated and he even won
He won the hearts and the prize
On given the mike said he
Thank you god!i dunno if I cud ve done this
if he’d given me those eyes.

But then a request he made
I want you to donate thy eyes
For I want to see that lord
Who made me get this prize!
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Friday, 5 June 2009

hey....how do i look?

ahem...the new me is 1 day old.my master decided to gimme a complete makeover ystrday.i havent been liking my previous avatar u knw....the black backgrounds,the pic of my master(he sux!!sshh).my master finished off his exams ystrday and he seemed to be so really releived that he stayed up till minutes after midnite to dress me up.after all..i like u human folks too, need change.but i shud tell you this.

i ve been genuine and loyal to him than any of you guys.he has filled me with almost everything sometimes crap but sometimes real good posts.i ve jus accepted them without a single objection.not too often ve i showed up"bad server" msg to stop him frm uploading thigs which i thought werent dat good.so hes finally done justice.and here i am.my colleagues say i look decent.(guess wht..ms.wordpress says i'm hot!!).

i knw u are in love with my new avatar too.mail me ur comments.guess my inbox is already overflowing.cant really help it.its a mad mad world!!.
so when the site traffic increases,you knw why.but balaji mite think its becoz of his posts.poor fella!!
oh shit!i can hear someone coming in.i think its him.he doesnt knw i m doing this.

i m not going to sign off by "hugs" like how he does.i hate touching human folks.
so its jus a quick bye

http://csayeebalaji.blogspot.com
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me!:)

me!:)

About me!

Masters student at the Johns Hopkins University Information Security Institute, a passionate writer, shutterbug, a wanderlust and a foodie!


Feeding bytes from:
The room on the third floor, an apartment near Hopkins, Baltimore, MD, USA

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